Helping God Fly a Plane

"Worship is the antidote to Worry."
-Rick Warren
Pastor, Saddleback Community Church

The Purpose Driven Worship Conference is in full swing in Lake Forest, California today. I'm here representing Thomas Nelson and our new line of drama books, Life Scripts for the Church by Paul Joiner.

During the main session today, Rick talked about the ABCs of worship. One of his illustrations stuck with me.

In a few days, Rick'll be leaving for a 36 day, 13 country tour. Here's his illustration (in my paraphrase):

When I board the 747 to Sidney, I'll get myself settled in my seat. As the plane begins to taxi down the runway, I'll start flapping my arms like a bird. And as the plane gets faster and faster, I'll flap harder and harder. The flight attendant will come to me and say, "Mr. Warren, is there anything I can do to help you?"

"No," I'll say, "I'm helping you. I'm helping the plane fly."

And I'll keep flapping my arms and flapping my arms. And eventually, I won't be able to flap any more. And I'll keep trying anyway, but I'll pass out.

And the plane won't crash.

His point, if you don't see it already, is that we help God about as much as a passenger flapping his arms helps a 747 fly.

He said that many of us are professional flappers. That’s me.

He took the crowd to 2 Chronicles 20. Why don’t you read it, with special emphasis on verses 21 and 22. How does this passage apply to your life? I bet you’ll be surprised.

A Penny for Your Missions Thoughts

I skimmed through a copy of How to Get Ready for Short-Term Missions today and found this fantastic quote I'd forgotten about.

"My father (Anne-Geri''s father) game me a special U.S. Penny when I was a child in New Zealand, where my parents were missionaries for almost ten years. He said, 'Angie, keep this in your pocket and remember that when you read it, it tells you what you are.'

He did not tell me this because money was important to him. Rather, he said, 'First of all, you TRUST IN GOD. And don't forget that you are ONE CENT.' My father's use of puns could be rather annoying, but this time, his humor was profound. You are one sent."

Blog reader, you are one sent. What are you sent to do today? Think about it. Then go.

Preparing for Missions

In my last blog entry, I noted that my short-term missions trips would’ve benefited greatly from more preparation. When the authors, Anne-Geri' and Greg, interviewed long-term missionaries, they found that, "the majority of short-term missions teams do not spend an adequate amount of time learning beforehand about the culture and the spiritual climate of the nation, or preparing themselves spirtually for the challenges ahead." (p. 52)

Here’s some of the best advice from How to Get Ready for Short-Term Missions

1. Prepare Yourself

Groups that prepare before coming are better off for doing so. Granted, sometimes there is an imbalance in focus on cultural preparation over spiritual. Remember that the first is critical, but the latter can’t be forsaken. Start by writing out your testimony before your trip. If you have a hard time getting started, think about it this way: If you had only thirty seconds to tell someone why you are a Christian, what would you say? There will almost always be someone interested in hearing your story or testimony. Don’t assume that just because you know little of the language, these opportunities won’t arise. Guests are asked to speak in many churches, and there will often be a translator present.

2. Be a Partner

Realize that your mission’s flurry of activity alters the daily flow of life in a church or organization you are serving—for instance, building onto a school or working in a mission hospital. Be open to learning from and humbly serving the ministry that is already in place rather than the form it might take while you are there. It is refreshing to observe short-termers with open hearts and willing hands. Just make sure there is a clear objective from both sides as to approach. If short termers focus on partnering with the people of the country, both sides will understand the objectives and match them.

3. Build Relationships

Take time for them. Don’t forget that promoting any kind of change takes time and relationship. This is the Beyond Borders and internship-bonding approach spoken of earlier. Pray with at least one person. That moment itself could end up being worth the whole trip. Worship with the people you are there to serve. Worship is so special. It is a benefit in every culture and language. Notice and enjoy the differences but do not attempt to change their style of worship. They are glorifying God. Join them in it.

4. Accept and Adapt

Combine the resources in the country with your own. Motivate people to help others from their own country. Keep moving and adapting by setting up a communication system with your mission team (homeland and target country) concerning the maintenance of God’s goals.

5. Be a Good Example

Your example affects people more than what you are actually saying. Make sure you are not just preaching God’s love but showing God’s love. Be enthusiastic. Bring with you enthusiasm, energy, and new ideas. You will also receive it in return!

Avoid saying, “I have a right to give this advice because I am paying good money to be here! “That’s arrogant and not helpful. A missionary will respond more out of compassion when he is in tune with what the Lord is doing in his life.

6. Consider Long-Term Effects

Unless there is some kind of idea of what this mission is all about, all that the trip will be is a feel-good experience, which is not the goal of good mission work. Think instead of the long-range effect of your service. It can really be transforming.

7. Go to Them First

You go, instead of a missionary having to come to you. In another era, it was the missionaries who visited the churches to share what they were doing on the field. It makes a great deal of difference when the church actually comes to the mission point instead. That being said, please pray for a long-term vision in your church. It helps when a supporting church also has that vision, because then the missionary doesn’t feel alone doing God’s work in their country. Bring a good report back with clear stories and goals, both met or unmet. Other benefits are the reports you go back with. Most of the time those are positive! It helps because you bring back that sense of “I’ve been there, and things are exciting” enthusiasm ...plus, it brings outreach and support to the ministry.

8. Look for God in Everything

Keep your eyes open for things He is doing. You’ll know a trip has been successful when someone says, “Look what God did,” rather than, “Look what I did.”

We must first get our hearts right. Only then are we ready to begin the equipping process so that we can take the gift of God to the world.

Great quote

Scotty Smith, pastor of Christ Community Church, closed his sermon on June 4th with this quote. I found it today searching for some notes for a project I'm working on. It stopped me cold, because all day I've been bemoaning my age and my lack of trust in Christ.

Stop looking for the fountain of youth.
Look for the fountain of grace.
And run to it!

Hot Off the Presses

Hot Off the Presses: How to Get Ready for Short-Term Missions by Anne-Geri’ Fann and Greg Taylor

I’ve traveled cross culturally four times. I wish I could’ve had a resource like How to Get Ready for Short-Term Missions. I read other books in preparation for my trips. None prepared me for the spiritual side of what I would be doing like this book could have. My trip directors and leaders struggled to share with parents how the trip was going to go. Yet, there’s a chapter in this book that’s written specifically to parents and includes before-and-after comments from parents who’ve sent children around the block and around the world. No other book prepares the short-termer for re-entry like this one. Above all else, this book helps the reader take missions seriously. It’s a prep manual for the person who goes. It’s an essential read.

If you’ve got a short-termer going or you’re going yourself, I challenge you to read this book soon. And if you don’t think it’s a great preparation tool, write me a letter, send me the book, and I’ll get you a refund.

Sociologist Christian Smith estimates that some two million North American thirteen- to seventeen-year-olds go on short-term trips domestically or internationally every year—and that’s a conservative estimate! Many do great humanitarian work and often make some spiritual impact, but others, through lack of preparation and/or training, do more harm than good.
From the new book, How to Get Ready for Short-Term Missions, published by Nelson Reference

I mentioned above that I’ve been cross-culturally four times. Allow me to share my Memories of my Short-Term Missions Trips


About 20 members of my church’s youth group flew from Atlanta through Can Cun to the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico during the summer of 1986. Our job was to paint the interior of a church. Here’s what I remember:

• MR, a young lady I’d known since I was two, “fell in-fatuation” with one of the unknown college brothers who traveled with us. I was very jealous. My photo album boasts a spy picture of the two love birds leaning into each other under the scaffolding we used to paint the roof a la Michelangelo.


• We slept in hammocks


• We ate the blandest chicken, rice, and tortillas I’ve ever tasted—probably prepared with no spice for the gringos, but maybe the cuisine of the territory. I don’t know. One night, we came to sit down for dinner and saw thousands of flies rubbing their legs together perched on our chicken. We waved napkins over our plates and shooed them away. The next day, more than half of our group was sick.


• We went dancing one night at a local disco. One member of our youth group got drunk and vomited on the way back to our host’s house. I had the sweetest cherry Coke I’ve ever tasted.


• Since we couldn’t drink the water, I frequently walked down the hill from the church to a street vendor who had huge blocks of ice chilling Coca-Cola—the real thing, made with cane sugar, not high fructose corn syrup. I drank about 30 liters while I was gone—10 days.


• A young woman—a member of the church—gave us a tour of the city. I commented that I thought her necklace was beautiful. At the end of the trip, she removed the cross from her neck and gave it to me. I tried to give it back, but she insisted that I take it to remember what we had accomplished. I have a chest on my dresser that holds mementos from life—high school ring, special coins, etc. The crucifix is a part of this menagerie.

In 1989, I taught conversational English to a group of 12 university students in Seoul, Korea. Kaye and I were engaged at the time. It was a difficult separation for us. I went because I thought it would be fun, I wondered if God was calling me to missions, and I wanted a passport.

• I ate dog.


• I ate seaweed.


• None of my students professed faith in Christ through my evangelism


• The best connection I made with a student occurred on a tour bus speaking French. Her French was better than her English. My French was fresh enough to converse.


• I practiced the piano and guitar for many, many hours while in Seoul and wrote several songs including one for Kaye that I sang to her during our wedding.

In 1998, I went with about 80 others from my church to a family work camp on a Native American Reservation.

• My son, four at the time, was being treated for his “lazy eye.” I learned a lot about depending on God for the growing of my children that week


• My morning devotion bombed


• I learned how to mix and pour concrete. I finally learned what rebar is.


• We prayed—a lot—for the young native Americans who would be coming to summer camp at this location.

In January, I took my wife and three older children to China to bring home our youngest daughter, Meileah. You can read all about our experience at our www.Meileah.com

I would’ve benefited greatly from the content in this book. Get one for anyone you know who’s going.

George Grant: A Reader's Reader

When we moved to Nashville, Tennessee, we did what you’ve done—searched for a church. One Sunday, we visited Christ Community Church in Franklin. I had always wanted to visit the church because of my love and appreciation for Scotty Smith’s writing and support of the arts, especially contemporary Christian music. Imagine my surprise when—in addition to Scotty—I saw George Grant on the dias.

George Grant is one of the modern heroes of the Christian faith. I first heard his name alongside Randy Alcorn during the surge in the pro-life rhetoric in the 1980s. George is by far one of the wisest men I’ve ever met. He’s an amazing intellectual, well-read, a world-travel, a history enthusiast, grand orator, and a marathon runner. As impressive as his bibliography and vitae are, my favorite thing about Dr. Grant is the way he reads Scripture.

One Sunday, he stood to read from the Old Testament book of Obadiah. This minor prophet isn’t one of my favorites (probably because I’ve never heard a sermon from it and only read it in passing while trying to read through the Bible in a year). I yawned and dutifully opened my Bible east of Psalms and west of Matthew. Like a child learning his ABCs, I mumbled the books of the Bible to myself trying to remember exactly where Obadiah is, but froze. His reading captivated me. I was swept into the story and grandeur. I understood the words and was left thirsty for more—as thirsty as a tired, overweight thirty-seven year old basketball wannabe on Thursday mornings (me).

Some may not like his voice. They say it’s too nasal, forced. Perhaps. But the mind, heart, and eloquent tongue of the man far exceed any of these matters.

I stumbled upon his blogs yesterday and saw his reading lists. First, was his blog entry regarding his summer reading wishes. Then I stumbled upon a list of books he thinks everyone should read in his or her lifetime. Wow. You should probably click on one of the links and read his lists. But, if you’re curious, here’s a list of books (and audio presentations) that have changed my life.

Whether you read Cicero or call Focus on the Family to order “Bonhoeffer”, just make sure you expand your mind this summer. And when you do, tell me about it. I’d love to hear about your favorites.

Literature that has changed my life (in alphabetical order)
“Bonhoeffer: The Cost of Freedom” Audio Series, Focus on the Family Radio Theatre, 1998, Tyndale House.
The Divine Drama, Kurt Bruner, Tyndale House, 2002.
Dominion, Randy Alcorn, 2000, Multnomah.
“A Life Well Lived” Audio Series, Tom Nelson, 2000, Nelson-Hudson Productions
Finding Common Ground, Tim Downs, 2000, Moody.
A Godward Life, John Piper, 1998, Multnomah.
The Joy of Fearing God, Jerry Bridges, 1999, WaterBrook Press.
Rich Mullins: Arrow Pointing Toward Heaven, James Bryan Smith, 1999, Broadman and Holman. (Note: Get an edition with the CD enclosed. Those songs, even if so familiar you’ve memorized them, will come alive as you read.)
The Ragman and Other Cries of Faith, Walter Wangerin, 1994 (revised), Harper San Francisco.
Safely Home, Randy Alcorn, 2001 Tyndale House.
A Skeleton in God’s Closet, Paul Maier, 1994, Thomas Nelson.
Staying Close, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, 1989 (and since revised), Nelson Books.
Systematic Theology: Introduction to Biblical Doctrine, Wayne Grudem, 1995, Zondervan.
The Writer’s Journey, Christopher Vogel, 1998, Michael Wiese Productions

Blogger’s Note: What is most fascinating about this list is the amount of life-changing reading I did around 1999/2000. Hadn’t made the connection before.

Monday Morning Musings

“Cars”
Pixar knows how to pick them. Loved the movie. Highly recommend it to all, especially men. Like “The Incredibles”, “Finding Nemo”, and “Toy Story” before it, “Cars” is another study in masculinity. In “Toy Story,” Woody faces aging and a career transition. Buzz faces the reality of his purpose in life. “Finding Nemo” pits a grieving father against a son trying to stretch the boundaries. Mr. Incredible’s midlife crisis is a parable for every man who struggles to find meaning in the mundane.

“Cars” is a lesson in overcoming adversity. Andy Andrews would call it “perseverance without exception.” The intertwined stories of Lightning McQueen and Doc are pictures of the two most common wounds men face today. Go see the movie. Then we’ll talk.
Fathers’ Day
This will be the first Fathers’ Day I have spent without a grandfather or father to buy cards for. As my mother-in-law stated yesterday, I’m the one being celebrated. It’s a strange place to be.

Makes me regret June of 1986 or 1987 when my mom and I both forgot Fathers’ Day. For some reason, we didn’t make it to church that day. My dad was brooding—not a typical mood for him. As he settled into his chair to watch a baseball game (probably the Dodgers), he made a snide remark about greeting cards. Mom and I retreated into our neon yellow kitchen for a pow wow. I grabbed $20 and my car keys and headed to Northlake Mall where I wandered for a long time. I felt awful. Everything I looked at seemed a poor gift for my dad and bankrupt for “I’m sorry."

I sat in my car with sweat rolling down my back. The AC was blasting in the car competing against Atlanta’s summer sun. I scribbled lyrics to a song and sang broken phrases of melody.

I drove home, worked out the guitar chords, then waited for the game to end. Then I sang the song for my dad. An offering. A tribute.

I’ve tried to squeeze my eyes tight enough to pop his reaction from my memory. I have no idea if he liked it or appreciated it. He probably would have preferred a card.

Don’t let this Fathers’ Day slip by.

Performance Enhancing Substances
As a baseball fan, I’m struck by the grim and grimy turn of events in MLB’s doping scandal. I abhor the use of steroids and human growth hormone. I hope Albert Pujols wipes the slate clean by making a remarkable comeback and letting us watch him hit clean homeruns.

But all the news has made me wonder. As I cooled down after playing basketball last Friday morning, SportsCenter droned on again above the lockers. I slumped on a bench with a cone of cold water and two Advil. And I wondered. Advil relieves my pain and fights against inflammation in my ankles and knees. Advil certainly enhances my next performance. The guy across the room rubbing Sportscreme on his legs—what about him? Is he doping? And the technological advances in arch supports and shoe treads? What about hot water? Jacuzzi jets? Massage oils? Protein powder in smoothies? Splenda? What about vitamin and mineral supplements? Hey, aren’t some of the players on antidepressants? Didn’t somebody get a cortisone shot in his knee during the off-season? That guy on the highlights—he’s wearing sunglasses! Gatorade has electrolytes. Didn’t all the players have to be immunized as children?

All I can say is, thank God for Lance Armstrong.

Why isn’t the Christian life easier?

As I played with Meileah in the swimming pool Sunday afternoon, I looked around at the 40 or so other bathers and wondered if they knew Christ. Then I wondered at my witness. My yard is full of weeds. We don’t go to any of the neighborhood parties because we’re tired. And when we’re tired, the last thing we feel like doing is making small talk with strangers. Our dogs stand at the fence line and bark at the morning joggers.

I guess God isn’t trying to influence someone to change their brand of cola. I guess He’s trying to find a band of dedicated revolutionaries. More like Sir Ernest Shackleton than Calvin Klein. Shackleton created a help wanted poster that said, “Men wanted; for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.”

Here’s to taking up our crosses today.

Thursday Thanks Tank: Filling up my life with thanks lest I run dry

Blogger’s Note: I’m stealing this idea from my friend “Peach.” Her blog is insightful and good reading, especially for home educating moms. I click over and read her entries everyday because they help me see and appreciate the world of a stay-at-home mom. Reading keeps me from being myopic.

Here’s what I’m thankful for this week:

My wife.

The last 27 months have been the most stressful in our marriage, and yet Kaye is doing an amazing job of slicing through it all. We’re eating healthier than we ever have, our home is more organized than it’s ever been, she’s glowing, and she’s managing her pain better than ever. I love her. She’s fantastic. Words fail me to praise her the way she deserves.

My job.

I’m having so much fun being strategic and creative. I’m learning new things about myself in the process. Plus, this job is stretching me to learn more about God and His Bible than ever before.

My kids’ greeting at the end of the day.

Everyday, I wonder why my children greet me with such volume and energy every afternoon when I get home. Most days, I don’t think I deserve their greeting. But, everyday, God reminds me to cherish the moment and strive to be the man who gets greeted in such a way.

Good music.

I found a cassette (recorded from an LP) of “Michael W. Smith Project” and “2.” I had forgotten how fresh and ahead of their time those two records were. Despite old analog synth patches and aging FM synth patches, the songs, arrangements, and content still make me smile. I’m sure everyone on I-65 south from Nashville to Franklin last night thought I was a freak as I sang along with songs my heart still knows.

Weight Watchers.

According to official Weight Watchers’ records, I have lost 14.8 pounds since April 13. I’m in better shape than I’ve been in since 2000, have more energy, and (gulp) actually enjoy the new healthy lifestyle. The accountability and inspiration is great. If you need a healthier lifestyle, join today.

What's in Your Tool Box?

What’s in Your Tool Box?

Over Memorial Day weekend, my wife asked me to hang some curtains in our bedroom. We’ve lived in the house almost a year. I figured it was time to get the job done.

I’m not a handyman. I’m amazed that the things I do around the house last. But over my 15 years of being a homeowner, I’ve learned a few things by experience.

I went to the garage and gathered my tools. But as I carried my tools upstairs, I thought about my job—“Inspire the world by providing tools for men, women, boys, and girls so that they can understand and apply the Bible and walk closer with Jesus Christ.” Then I thought about the challenges we face helping readers and Bible students find these tools and use them properly.

We’ve got a big challenge. Let me compare my “honey-do” list to my job.

I knew what the task was:

Hang a triple rod in our bedroom by securely attaching hardware to the wall in such a way the curtains will be straight along the top and barely brush the floor.

I knew what tools I needed:

• two hand screwdrivers
• my cordless drill
• screwdriver bits
• a hammer
• a pencil
• a level
• a step stool

I knew what each tool does. So do you. But for the sake of argument, let me remind us all:

• hand screwdrivers: manually turn a threaded device to attach one object to another
• cordless drill:
quickly and strategically create a hole of a specific and consistent size in a surface
• hammer: move an object using the natural force created by a lever, most often used for inserting a nail into a surface
• pencil: create temporary and removable lines, writing, or drawings on a surface
• level: compare one’s carpentry or other work to an objective standard to ensure that the work is perfectly perpendicular or vertical
• step stool: safely support someone above the floor

I knew what the job was, I knew what tools I needed, I knew what to call them, and I knew how to apply them to the work at hand. For many, they can’t say the same thing about the reference books they use for Bible study—the tools they use to understand and apply God’s Word to their lives.

What the Job Is

The job is to read, understand, memorize, meditate upon, and apply God’s word to your life. Some of you may add the job of “teach others” to the list. We all know what the job is. We’ve all had varying levels of frustration doing the job.

The Tools I Need

I believe the water begins to get murky here. Some may say, “Well, I need a Bible.” Others might grab a study Bible to help them. Still others might walk into a Soul Depot (Christian Bookstore) and ask for some tools. But do the staff know what to recommend? I would guess that most might offer a 3 lb. Hammer when a small, standard hammer would do. For the most part, we don’t know what tools we need to do the job.

What to Call the Tools

Table Saw. Lathe. Drill Press. Ball-Ping Hammer. I’ve heard these names before, but I don’t know what they are, how to find them, why I would need them, or how to use them if I bought them. I think that’s the same dilemma Bible students face.

Applying the Tools to the Work at Hand

By the time most people get here, the books they did buy gather dust, they struggle to get anything out of the Bible, and they become discouraged.

So What Should we Do About it?

That’s the question I’m trying to solve over the next five years. I dream that one day customers will enter a mainstream or specialty book retailer and ask for help—and receive the quality and quantity of help Home Depot customers do. By doing so, these readers and Bible students will be amazed as God grows their faith.

In the mean time, here’s a little help to get started:

The first thing you need is a good Bible. Purchase a reliable Bible translation, in a binding that feels good in your hand. Make sure the format of the pages is easy to read. Are the letters large enough for easy reading? If you’re unsure what translation to buy, consider the New King James Version, the New American Standard Version, or the English Standard Version. Read them side by side at the store.

If you want to read the Bible with greater understanding and comprehension, purchase a Bible Handbook. The handbook will help you unpack the who, what, where, when, and why of the Bible. Look first at Nelson’s Illustrated Bible Handbook. This full-color guide will open your eyes to the fullness of the Scriptures. Other good Bible handbooks include Halley’s Bible Handbook and Wilmington’s Guide to the Bible.

If you want to experience the Bible with your five senses, purchase a book outlining Bible Manners and Customs. How did they live? What did they eat? What weapons did they use? How did they date and marry? A book like Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Manners and Customs is a great start to get the answers to your questions.

If you want to apply God’s Word to your life, look for a good commentary. Commentaries deeply explain each verse of the Bible and help you connect it to your life. The best starter commentary is The Believer’s Bible Commentary by William MacDonald. There are many in the marketplace from every theological viewpoint. Other good starter commentaries include J. Vernon McGee’s Thru the Bible series (available in many bindings and price points) or Crossway’s Preaching the Word series.

If you want to find something in the Bible, you need a concordance. A concordance lists every word in the Bible alphabetically and gives you the chapter and verse to find each instance. My favorite is Where to Find it In the Bible by Ken Anderson. If you’re fascinated by what the original languages of the Bible mean, then I recommend getting The New Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. James Strong spent more than thirty years indexing every word in the Bible using a numbering system. He wanted to track the original meanings of the words. A Strong’s concordance takes a little while to learn, but once you do, the benefits will pay off. Using a Strong’s is like driving a manual transmission—more work, but a little more fun. Wayfarers not required.

if you want to learn what the words mean, you’ll need a good dictionary. Take a look at >Nelson’s Student Bible Dictionary. This inexpensive, four-color volume brings over 2,000 words to life in explanations, graphs, and pictures.

These are the core tools everyone needs in his or her tool box for Bible study. Keep checking back to my blog for an in depth look at each category, instructions on how to use them, and reviews of the better titles.

By the way, I got our curtains hung. Several days later, they’re still there. Whew!

Five Things You're Not Supposed to Say at an Adoption Seminar

Blogger's Note: In a couple of hours, Kaye and I will be addressing a group of parents considering adoption. Here are my remarks for the group. I'd love your feedback.

Good morning. My name is Mark Whitlock. My beautiful bride of 16 years, Kaye, is making sure all four children get to where they need to be on this busy Saturday morning. You’ll get to meet her later today.

We have four children—three home grown and one imported. We brought our precious Meileah home from Changchun, Jilin, China in January. She’s only been with us four-and-a-half months.

Some of you are considering adoption because of infertility. That is not part of our story. But it is part of my parent’s story. I’m adopted. My mom and dad adopted me at 3 months of age. My birth mother was 16 and pregnant outside of marriage. My birth father was 21. I don’t know anything about them.

Kaye and I talked about adoption off and on for 13 years before starting the process in October of 2004. We brought Meileah home January 25, 2006. That’s faster than we expected because we chose to pursue a special needs adoption. Kaye’s got all of the particulars on when we applied, when each piece of paperwork was accomplished, etc. If you’re curious, you can talk with her about it later today.

Our time is short this morning, so I thought I’d share a few observations with you. These are really the five things I’m not supposed to say at an adoption seminar.

1. Right now, adoption may be a fad in our culture.

It’s trendy to adopt. New adoption agencies are popping up. Major ministries are shining the spotlight on adoption and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are adopting. Even key companies are getting in on the act—Delta Airlines has an ad campaign, Cheerios has a TV commercial.

Yeah. Adoption may be a fad. But can you think of any other fad that has ever changed hundreds of thousands of lives? I’m glad that adoption is popular—even if it’s just a temporary bump in numbers. Awareness is up and children are finding homes!

2. Adoption can be expensive.

Guys, I’m with you on this one. There’s a sticker shock related to adoption. You run the numbers and it will be six years until you’ve saved enough to even start the process. Plus, if you’ve got kids, it will completely vaporize their college savings. And don’t get me started on retirement funds. About 10% of US companies offer adoption assistance funds. But you know what? My company doesn’t. And we publish books about how to adopt and the “Shaoey and Dot” books by the Chapmans.

Adoption is expensive, but it costs less than a decent used car—and a lot less than a new one. It costs less than a college education. It costs less than a year’s worth of mortgage payments. It costs less than a cesarean birth.

The price tag was a HUGE issue for us, but nothing can thwart God’s plan. We were humbled to receive a Shaohannah’s Hope grant and an interest-free adoption loan from ABBA Fund. If you’re supposed to adopt, the money will be there.

3. Adoption is stressful on your marriage.

I’m going to bet you’ve already had some tiffs about adoption. Some of you feel like you got dragged here today. If you have kids already, you probably feel like there are hundreds of details more with an adoption than a pregnancy. You’re right. And every detail can be a point of contention, can’t it?

And life doesn’t stop when you get in the process. Since we applied with America World, we’ve moved, I’ve changed jobs, we traveled to the other side of the world and expanded our family, Kaye’s Dad passed away, Meileah had surgery and spent several days in pediatric intensive care, and our oldest turned 15 and is learning how to drive.

Adoption is stressful on your marriage, but so are job changes, deaths in the family, births, financial pressure, MARRIAGE IN GENERAL. Do you really think the enemy of our souls wants all of these orphans adopted into loving families—especially Christian families? Of course adoption is stressful. Just remember who is picking the fight.

4. Adoptive parenting is harder than advertised.

I have a friend who adopted domestically. He loves to say, “We have six children—one of whom is adopted. But we forgot which one.” That’s the Christian Correct speech, isn’t it? I’d love to say that, but our daughter’s appearance doesn’t necessarily blend in with our other three kids’. And we get questions from time to time.

Meileah doesn’t always understand us. She can’t communicate well with us yet. She’s loud.

There have been nights I’ve held Kaye as she cried about how Meileah pushed every boundary all day long. She’s exhausted and doesn’t want dawn to come—and for the whole process to start over again.

We’d forgotten what it was like to have a toddler. And we didn’t get to ease into it by adopting an infant. POOF! We had a toddler. These bones aren’t as young as they once were.

Whether you adopt an infant or an older child, someone else was entrusted to parent your little one for a time. There are habits—good and bad—that the child will have experienced. Kaye often wonders if she is doing things that provoke a response in Meileah because of something—good or bad—that the orphanage workers or her foster parents did. We have no idea. Meileah can’t communicate that to us.

Love is NOT a response to an emotion, but an act of the will. Love is a verb. No matter how hard it gets, I guarantee you won’t be able to stop loving your adopted one—even on the worst, terrible, no-good, very bad day.

5. The child you adopt—whether domestic or international, special needs or quote-normal-unquote, may NOT conquer the world.

There aren’t any promises with adoption. If you’re cynical enough, you can read the dossier like it’s advertising copy for a child. Of course they’re going to say all these great things about how smart, athletic, musical, coordinated your future child is. What’s true? But there aren’t any promises with a pregnancy either. A dear couple we know brought three children into this world without a hitch. But during their fourth pregnancy, something went terribly wrong. The child developed a rare condition in utero and only lived a few hours after delivery.

Our lives are a mist. We live under the illusion that we’ve got all the time in the world, but somebody in this room may have a wreck on the way home or be diagnosed with cancer next week.

God really dealt with me on this one. Our daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate. The lip was repaired in China. We’ve had the palate repaired since coming back to the states. There’s a pessimist in my life who is completely clueless. She keeps quizzing me on how the adoption is going and reminds me in every conversation that Meileah may never speak well or normally. Sometimes, she has the audacity to ask me if I’m ready to take care of Meileah every day for the next fifty years as if she’ll never be able to be independent.

One Sunday, I was standing in the back row, singing worship songs while holding Meileah. I was thinking about how this is the first time she’s heard these great spiritual truths and these amazing songs. Then the thought crossed my mind—what if this person’s right? What if she can never sing? Or if she can sing, what if she can’t carry a tune or understand rhythm? As the shock hit, I had a vision. It could’ve just been my imagination OR it could’ve be the Lord trying to show me something. In that instant, I saw a petite young lady in a blue dress with cropped black hair. Her eyes were closed. She was on the platform sawing away on a violin adding amazing harmony and texture to the rest of the music. It was Meileah in 13 years. It was as if God was saying, “She’ll worship Me. If she can’t sing, I will give her a different voice to praise My name.”

Now, our speech therapist has given us no indication that Meileah will not develop normal speech. And Kaye firmly believes we’ll look back in a few years and laugh at my fears. We’ll probably be like the family in the McDonald’s commercial, who has to go through the drive thru to get a shake for Meileah—just to have a few seconds of peace and quiet when she’s NOT talking.

The child you adopt may not be above average, may not make straight As, may not make it to the national spelling bee, throw a spiral 75 yards, have a wicked curve ball or fade away jump shot. He or she may not be a senator or author or doctor or lawyer or missionary. So what!? He or she is already made in the image of God with unique gifts and immeasurable worth. And God Almighty wants that boy or girl in your family.


Go ahead. Take out a legal pad. Draw a line down the middle. Weigh the pros and cons. Look at your schedule and checkbook. But when you’re done, ball it up and burn it. Get into the river of adoption and let God handle the flow of the water. Let Him guide you in His time.

Because at the end of the day, adoption isn’t about (pause) you. It isn’t about your marriage. It isn’t about your net worth. It isn’t about your infertility or your “full quiver.” It isn’t about your lifestyle. It isn’t about your sense of duty. It isn’t about whether adoption makes logical sense.

Adoption in some ways isn’t even about the little boy or girl who needs a home.

Adoption is about God Almighty.

I told you when I started that I’m adopted. At 18, my mom told me that my birth name was Christian Stanley Boyer. Did you hear that? They gave me the name Christian. I smiled and felt hot tears rush to my eyes. Psalm 139 screamed in my ears. “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

You see, God Himself is an adoptive father. God adopted you and made you an heir. He made you a brother or sister to His son, Jesus Christ. He made you part of His family. You are His child. He scooped you up out of a mess. He’s never going to turn His back on you. He’s never going to forsake you or abandon you. He’s never going to remove His name from you. He’s going to provide for your needs. He’s going to help you grow and learn. He’s even going to discipline you. He’ll weep when you weep and rejoice when you rejoice. And if you struggle and fight with Him, if you push against Him—even if you run away, He’ll be looking down the driveway constantly awaiting your return with open arms, a cloak for your mistakes, and a ring for your finger to prove to the world that you’re still His. And He’ll throw a party for you.

Our Heavenly Father knows everything that will come your way as an adoptive parent. The Son, Jesus, was adopted on earth by Joseph. Jesus knows what being adopted looks like, too. And the Holy Spirit is leading you to this point.

So… what are you going to do about it?

An amazing rejection letter

Blogger's Note: A friend sent this to me from a recent Los Angeles Times. Go to the actual link.) I've had to write a number of these since taking my new job as an Acquisitions Editor. I hope I haven't taken a pass on anything this earth-shaking.

REJECTED
BY DAVID K. ISRAEL

May 28, 2006

XXVIII Maius

Dear Apostles Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, et al.,

I've enjoyed reading your material greatly. Your writing is wonderfully lyrical and lively. Every book, or chapter if you will, is full of eloquent prose, fanciful metaphors, dreamlike imagery and well-constructed allegories. I particularly liked how you tipped your yarmulkes to Greek mythology, playing on the Hercules/Zeus relationship with Jesus as the Son of God—truly brilliant! And I found myself being drawn into the Gospels with all of their glorious "Hosannas." In fact, I wonder if it couldn't become a chorus to a popular song.

All that said, I don't think I can sell your New Testament, and I'm going to pass on the project.

The book lacks an audience. It's very hard to market this kind of material in our present environment. The Zoroastrians and the Mithraists are both competing for a piece of an already small pie of pagan literates, while Jews have the monotheistic market covered with their semi-successful Torah, Prophets, Writings, etc.

Mind you, if I felt there was a foreign market for your material—at least two or three other languages—maybe the news from my end would be better. Furthermore, it might be an easier sell had you fellas written the original manuscript in Latin. As it stands now, no serious publisher in Rome would want to get involved because, let's face it, who wants to begin a project by translating 2,000 scrolls of papyrus?

I wonder if you've given any thought to pitching this story as a film? Our Rome and Los Angeles offices have been working hard on this sort of synergy, and it might work better in that format. In fact, I could easily picture Horatius Lutatius Maximus playing the part of Jesus. (He was a tremendous hit in last year's production of "Oedipus.") But then I wonder, does Jesus have to die in order to be resurrected? I would rethink that from a marketing standpoint. I was with you all the way, but film execs will be thinking about the common citizen. And Jesus cheating death is a bit of a stretch. What if he just got badly hurt instead?

But as a book, I just don't feel there are enough potential converts who'd be interested in plunking down three denarii for such a collection. And short of a future emperor proclaiming your start-up cult the official religion of the Roman Empire, I don't see the environment for this book changing over the next millennium.

Of course, we agents have been wrong on occasion. After Virgil died, no one at this firm would touch the "Aeneid" with a 10-cubit pole. And look how well that's sold.

So if you'd like a second opinion, I'd suggest sharing your manuscript with another agency. Maybe one that specializes in "Inspirational Books." You fellas are strong, creative writers. I hope you don't find this letter too discouraging because I think you have loads of potential. Whatever you do next, please don't give up on the writing, and please feel free to send me something else in the future.

All best wishes,

Agrippina Pius